Random Thoughts

somtimes it seems quite strange how one's priorities change so suddenly. stock market specialists have claimed that people have short term memory when they are investing, but it seems myopic thought extends to all other aspects of real life as well.

today my mama is coming, actually he has already arrived by now. he is bringing with him some sweets and home-made food that nani has made for me. it may sound very sweet, but not surprising, however. after all, nanis and nanas are supposed to be full of fun and love, isn't it?. but your view might change once i tell you that my nani was diagnosed with cancer few months ago, had to endure severe radiation therapy, lost half of her weight (and her hair also) in the process, and her face was deformed for ever. a woman, who hardly can do even daily chorus, sat for 4 hours making those tikris-pirikiyas just so that her grandchildren could taste them.

now we come to the other side of the story. quite strangely, and i am afraid of it, i am not thinking about those sweets today. in fact, i can not think of my nani at all. the most important thing that has happened today in my life is that i have refused the offer to see a movie in a mall with some of my friends. and no matter how hard i try, i am not able to ignoer this.

but man being a rational animal, i try to find some answers, some justifications, which may reduce the burden of the guilt. one possible way by which i can soothe myself is by saying that the times change, and one can't keep attached to one's relatives for ever. it is the biological processes built in our bodies that force us to get attracted towards new people, since the older ones are not going to remain around for ever.

rationally, i accept my own proposition. but still, logic can only defeat the mind. can it make the same food that my nani used to make for me? can my new friends give me the same joy which i used to enjoy when nani used to sleep beside me and tell stories ? maybe i don't need those stories any more, because i've grown up. but i do long for my nani, and i do want to taste those mithais.......